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Tzadiqel
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Name: Tyler
Country: United States
State: West Virginia
Metro: Morgantown
Birthday: 9/5/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: Plants, languages, mythology, 80s cartoons, goldfish, Degrassi: The Next Generation, cheese, reading, angels and demons (but not the book), etc.
Expertise: I'm fairly good with plants (4h horticulture judging: first place in the state), I'm pretty good with languages and have studied: German, Spanish, and Russian. Other than that I have been a dance captain for my show choir, and I'm pretty much a pretend know-it-all.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Government
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Bekovedik
MSN: tongue_84@hotmail.com
Member Since:
11/16/2004
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| I like you because you bring me things. I like you because you know the whole Nelly Furtado album by heart. I like you because you collect your friends' poems. I like you because you think the American flag is tacky and the currency needs to expand its horizons. I like the song "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy." I like that you know "the hoi polloi" is redundant. I like dance sequences in movies but hate musicals. I like that semen and freedom are approximate rhymes. If I were a woman I would be Fiona Apple because she's skinny and crazy, but women are at least one of those. I like cashmere sweaters with v-necks that are cheap. I like pretending to be slutty and I like looking slutty when compared to some of my friends. My friends are characterized by mood swings. I wish I could learn a language by means of subtitles. I like the thought of going to Romania, but would probably hate it there. I wish I were vain enough to take numerous digital photos of myself with my lips pursed and title them things like "Bop Bop's Angel." I like that I'm funnier than Ross. A clock with military time would have to be very big. I like thinking about what kinds of people will read my journals in the future, but realize they'll be thrown away before that. I like the smell my ear piercing makes. I like black women who like Maxwell. I like those three letter foreign words that are hardest to translate. I don't have many friends who date inter racially. Who came up with the concept of a soul? I don't understand how tampons are supposed to be liberating for women. I'm glad I never had bad acne. I fear that I will be on a plane when a dragon attacks. If I could be any man it would be Christopher Walken. I like thinking that when I wink at an older woman, it makes her day. Nothing makes me feel manlier than being able to open a difficult jar, that, and scratching my balls. I look forward to receiving a booty call in the future. I like when my dad doesn't know the difference between countries. I like the smell of genitals, for the most part. I hate freckles, for the most part. I hope to have a famous recipe that involves eggs. I like that "Want you Back" song by NSYNC. I like prizes. I like toy frogs and cartoon frogs, but not the real thing. I don't hate labret piercings. I like hot Middle Easterners. I like using 'your' instead of 'you're' and then have people correct me. I miss the days when people thought I was dumb. I wish I could be a person with a "look" that involved cool sunglasses and low-slung pants. I wish I could see a band that I actually like in concert. I like drinking jasmine tea because it makes me feel clean. I like Pam Grier. RED RUM. I like to dream about fantasy books that don't exist - because they possibly could. I don't like veins or urethrae or other body tunnels. I like pronouncing things over the edge. I love, above all else, singing along. I know that I'm a bit of a loser, but I can make people laugh and that's got to buy me some time out of hell. I like potty humour, but only with friends. I enjoy friend slang - Did you just 'how much' me?
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| Folks, I'm looking for something new and exciting to read. Something that will change the way I think about things, make me anti-social, and expand my mind. If you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them. Thanks a millions. | | |
| Emperor of the Universe
King of the World
Master of Dragons
Dictator of Elfin Land
Monarch of Fantasia
Tyrant
Ruler of Dimensions 1, 3, 8, 9, and 13
Supreme Emperor of Tylerasis
Czar of Russia
Monarch of Alpha-Centuri
And All Time Great Guy
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| Authors note: This story has not been altered, only that it is now on the internet and not a piece of filthy computer paper
Tristan, Kyler, and Torey were triplets. They were the smartest kids in Ms. Vooooov's class. But somehow, they were also the weirdest. Not only were they two feet tall, they wore cavemen clothes and had tall, wacky hair like trolls. Eyes the color of plump, ripe grapes glared from behind their tinted contact lenses at the other students who made fun of them.
"Get outa my way apes!" said Kathy as she pushed them aside.
Just then Rondi and Alison came up and said to Kathy, "Pick on someone your own size!"
Ms. Vooooov came in and said, "Kathy you're suspended for making fun of your classmates."
Kathy said "SHUTUP! Ms Vooooovy head."
Ms. Vooooov said, "Kathy go to Mrs. Kidswatter's office. And Tristan, Kyler, and Torey come get a Tootsie Roll Pop." And they did.
Alison and Rondi said, "Why don't we get one too?"
Ms. Vooooov said, "I plumb forgot about you two, come and get one too." They walked slowly up to her desk. Rondid gently picked upa red, cherry-flavored sucker and when Ms. Vooooov wasn't looking, she grabbed another one. Alison quietly dipped into the jar and pulled out a purple Tootsie Roll Pop. She visciously tore the wrapper off and popped it into her big mouth and slurped noisily on it for the rest of the day.
At the end of the day Tristan, Kyler and Torey went home to their cave at the end of Bedrock Drive. For dinner they had rare Mammoth meat, Stegosaurus steaks and Tyrannosaurus blood. Then they played with their pet Pterodactyl, Fido.
The next day at school they thanked Rondi and Alison for helping them get away from Kathy. To repay them for their help, the triplets asked them to come to their cave for dinner sometime.
A week later Rondi and Alison decided to spend Friday night with the triplets. They were so excited they could hardly wait. It was a good thing Friday was only a half day.
When they arrived at the cave Rondi asked, "Where are your parents?"
Tristan and Kyler said at the same time, "One day they went to the market and they never came back."
"Ooooooh! You poor things," Alison sympathized.
Torey replied, "Ah, that's alright. At least there's no one to boss us around here at home."
At that moment their miniature pet Brontosaurus, Yoshi, bounced into the room. In a squeaky voice she asked, "Who are these kids?"
The triplets answered, "They are our new school friends, Rondi and Alison. They are here for dinner and to spend the night."
"Speaking of dinner," Rondi hinted, "I'm hungry, what's to eat?"
Torey replied, "Ankylosaurus asparagus, Stegosaurus stew, Megalosaurus meat and Campatosaurus kool aid."
After dinner was cooked, they sat down to have it.
Torey got a spoonful of stew and threw it at Alison, that started the FOOD FIGHT. Food was flying everywhere. After they settled down Yoshi licked everything up.
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| My favorite albums:
What's the Story? - Oasis
Chutes Too Narrow - The Shins
Parachutes - Coldplay
Aquarium - Aqua
Saturday Morning Cartoons - Various Artists
Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
Stadsvandringar - Dungen
Spice World - Spice Girls
Give Up - Postal Service
Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morissette
The Boy with the Arab Strap - Belle & Sebastian
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